Miracle By Chance

This is a “true story” about how I met my Husband on a dating site on the Internet. It’s the unbelievable story behind it that’s truly amazing!
I used to hang out at a country bar called the “Club Palomino”. I loved listening to good bands there, and dancing to their country rock music. I used to drag my friend out to see my favourite band playing called “Cheyenne”, who were amazing and always packed the place. My friend and I used to get up and dance to their songs. I was interested in the rhythm guitar player in the band, to me, he was the best looking one, and I loved his voice along with his rhythm guitar sound. Yes, I had the “hots” for him and would goggle eye him playing his guitar/singing while I was on the dance floor, or just standing at the bar listening and staring. I’ve always had this thing for bands as I play guitar too, and always wanted to play in a band. They played there for a long time and were the best band at the “Club Palomino”. I would go there as much as I could just to hear them play, and of course, always watching my favourite player. The sad part about it was I used to see him with a blonde girl, not knowing if she was his girlfriend or wife.
After seeing them playing there for a long time, the “Club Palomino” closed down. Yes, the club had been sold. Wouldn’t you know it a huge townhouse sub-division was put up and the club was gone. So were all the bands and my favourite band, “Cheyenne”.
When I first found out about the club closing down, I wanted to approach “Cheyenne”; particularly the rhythm guitar player and ask where they would be playing in the future. But I didn’t have enough courage to do that. I guess things happen for a reason.
15 YEARS LATER………
As time went on I met someone and got married. That was a mistake. Eventually we got a divorce. I started going out to bars, again, got tired of it and not meeting anyone decent enough. I wasn’t crazy about the bands playing at other bars either. Later, a friend told me to join a particular dating site on the Internet, which I thought I would never do. But, I thought I would check it out for fun as I heard so much about it through people even meeting their soul mates from that site. Surprisingly enough, I had a few dates, meeting in public places, but just didn’t find the right one and thought I never would from a dating site. I sort of gave up on it until one night. After getting home from a bar, which I hated, I went on my computer. For some reason I logged in that site again which I was really glad I did. I got an interesting email from a guy and liked his picture. I was also touched by his email and that he was also interested in my picture and profile. From then on we started emailing each other quite a lot from that site. We seemed to have so much in common through our emails. We continued writing and eventually got on MSN, and chatted for quite some time. He was Bulgarian and I was Hungarian, how common was that! We discovered from our MSN chats that we had so much in common. It was really amazing. Our families even lived in the same town of all places. We chatted every night as often as we could.
And then, a miracle happened! We started chatting on our computers about music. Wow…we also liked all the same music and we both wrote songs. I told him I liked country music and used to frequent a particular bar about 15 years ago, which had closed down. Of course he asked me the name of the bar back then. I told him the “Club Palomino”. He was really surprised and told me he used to play there. I wasn’t sure whether to believe him or not! He said he would send me a picture of his band that played there. I thought, “yeah right” to myself as I waited patiently in front of my computer for the picture. Lo and behold, a huge picture came up on my screen, “CHEYENNE” “CLUB PALOMINO”. I freaked! I couldn’t believe it! It was him in the picture with “Cheyenne”. The guy I was interested in who was the rhythm guitar player in my favourite band. I was so shocked that I went crazy seeing this picture! It was just unbelievable! Like a miracle happened suddenly! Like a fairy tale! We carried on chatting every moment we had for some time, and eventually he gave me his phone number. We started talking on the phone every night. It was just amazing all the things we had in common about everything! Yes, it was too good to be true!
After about 3 weeks of talking on the phone every night, chatting on the computer & exchanging pictures, we decided to meet. I was brave enough for him to pick me up at my mother’s place as I developed this trust in him, by his voice and his honesty. I met him downstairs in front of my mother’s apartment building. He got out of his car, and the first thing we did was look at each other and start laughing, and laughing like crazy, and couldn’t stop laughing! He took me to the local Canadian Legion where we talked, had a drink together (still laughing) and we got more acquainted. Eventually we went into another room and sat down at a table. After a while, he asked me if I didn’t mind if he got up on stage to do a solo. Hey, a man singing with his guitar was like being in heaven. He got up on stage and started playing his guitar and singing in front of an audience. That did it for me. I was hooked! And the guy I admired 15 years ago was performing in front of my eyes, and, was my date! I was in heaven!
We dated for about 2 years and it was absolutely wonderful. Eventually we bought a condo and have been living together for 2 ½ years now. Then, the final surprise! After moving into our condo, we looked out the window and to our astonishment what did we see? The office building of the dating site we joined of all things! What a coincidence that was! In March of 2008, it will be 5 years being together, playing music, and still laughing! We are just two peas in a pod!
He met my friend who I was with at the Club Palomino 15 years ago, and he also remembered seeing us dancing while his band “Cheyenne” played. He also remembered me standing at the bar at times. I used to watch him go to the bar for his coffee and I know our eyes met each other’s at that time. It sure is strange crossing one another’s paths some 15 years ago – and now, being together in a different time in the future, and remembering!
And by the way, that blonde girl he was with at the Club Palomino, was the girl he eventually married which lasted 8 years. He went through a brutal divorce. He did tell me that when I first saw him at the Club Palomino 15 years ago, that I should have approached him and told him “she was bad news”. It’s funny how life is – it just wasn’t meant to be back then. Fate brought us together. We found our “soul mates”!

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Miles and Miles of Love

I may be young, but I’m wiser than you may think. It may seem like I haven’t experienced anything but…I’m 14 and I’ve seen slot from the world. I guess that’s how I should start. Even tho thats not the beginning.
It all started near the end of middle school. My friends and I always eat lunch together through our shared interest of anime, manga, drawing, and cosplay. I remember them clearly, all the good times we had. One day, one of my friends brought another girl she knew to the table. She was solemn and a bit dark. She looked like she found it painful to smile. I wanted to fix that but, she wanted to fix me. At that time, I was hiding deep pains in my heart. But with the fun I was having I thought the scars would heal or be forgotten. Absentmindedly, I told her about them. She pledged her service to me, something I didn’t want. It actually surprised me. I thought no one would care like that in this world. I began to grow on her, not only to try and repay but to discover why she was so giving of her own freedom. …I thought I was in love with her. (Yes, I had felt love before. Crushes, with family, ect.) I told her I was in love with her so, we started to try to be a couple. I felt like I was lying to her. Like I was just holding her down. So it only lasted a few days before I told her I would rather be her sister than her lover. She said the same. It was a relief.
Now, I had a ‘best friend,’ if you would. She was modest, she loved acting and anything about england. She played the viola and worked her hardest. I had no talents but our friendship was based on the fact that our names were almost the same commonly. Around that time, I felt as if we weren’t really…cooperating well. I started to feel like a tool or a shadow more than a friend. A person to steal ideas from or get a quick tip from. Someone you could easily forget and throw away, which has happened more than once. So, to soften the blow of losing someone close, I started to cut off our friendship, bit by bit, slowly. Sadly, it couldn’t save me from what happened next.
I remember that night clearly. I had decided to host a sleepover so I invited my ‘best friend’ and my other friend over. ( She still considered me her best friend.) what happened that night hurt me. It was my house, my neighbor hood, and I do my best to be a good host. But they were to caught up in each other than they ignored me. I didn’t see it as much and passed it by but, in the back of my mind, it hurt me down to my heart. The next night, I was in a chatroom waiting for my ‘best friend’ to arrive when I fell asleep. Kinda cliche, huh? When I woke up, I read the conversation I had missed and learnt the truth. The two friends had started going out,andmy so-called ‘best friend’ didn’t have the decency to tell me at my house to my face but, to a total stranger over the Internet. That broke my heart and so, a long, painful battle began.
Different thoughts painted my head with one single question. Why? Why, why, why? Why did she trust someone she hardly knew than one she knew and saw face to face everyday. It didn’t make sense. It’s painful to try and explain in detail, and even if I did, you have a chance of not understanding no matter how smart or wise you are. But at the end of that battle, I was mentally broken. I no longer had friends. Everyone was either against me or had ignored everything passing it off as not their problem. Few people tried. And Maria was one of the few.
Before, my ‘best friend’ has introduced me to a chatroom fro roleplay. That was where I first met Maria. If ‘best friend’ is reading this I just want to say,’ Thank you and eat my sh*t.’ Maria had been one of the spectators of the battle and had acquired my number by ‘best friend.’ She was worried about me, for I had disappeared and ran away from the sourse of the pain, the Internet. I brushed her off and told her to go away because she didn’t care either. I thought to her, it was the same to the rest of them; a show that I had put on to watch. But she wouldn’t go. I turned away from her and everyone else.
However, maybe a week or so later, I came back. Someone hurt and with few to turn to, shouldn’t be alone. I knew that. So, I simply just took her as someone to talk to. I was caucious. I didn’t want to be hurt again. Not only that but this was a person I only knew from chat. Someone still connected to the enemy and might be just a spy. A week after I started talking to her tho, she started to tell me things. She told me she loved me. Believe me, I was thinking the same thing you are thinking right now probably. ‘ You don’t love me,’ I told her,’ You just want to…’ I didn’t really have anything to put in that line. She wasn’t a spy so, why was she here other than to be here? Protect? Help? I thought nothing of the sort and ignored her ‘feelings’. Besides, love after a love after a war? Doesn’t make sense, does it?
You see, if you had ever wanted to be in a relationship with me, you had to play a game. ‘The game’ as i called it, was probably just me looking for key traits of a person, feelings strong enough for me to believe, or maybe actions done out of emotion. I don’t know exactly but the point was to find someone I could trust with my life and my heart. Those who won the game, won my heart. Once you’ve met me, you start playing the game.
Maria and my friend had both practically flew through the game. However, it seemed like my friend either forced her way through or I just let her in. Maria, however, was different. She was gentle and she progressed so quickly and was so close that she was scaring me. She gave me words of comfort when horrible memories flooded my head. One day, she came to me crying. She had stood up to my ‘best friend’, was critized and left the chatroom. She had done it for me. Me. I, surely, throughout she was crazy but, I came closer to thinking,’ Maybe she really did love me.’ It would explain her sacrifices and her tenderness. Maria truly was one of a kind.
The best night of my life, She said I love you. I believed her. I truly believed her. She had won the game and it wasn’t long until I said,’ I love you too.’
It may seem very cliche, sappy, and dramatic but, these events actually happened.
There are problems tho… You see, I live four states away from Maria. Maria lives four states away from me. We’re both bi, we’re both 14, and we’ve never met. Our mothers both don’t approve. They would never say it of course. Her mother thinks it’s a phase; my mother says because of distance it’ll never work. I talk to Maria everyday. Virtually, we hug and kiss, we tell each other how much we love each other, we laugh and sing, we chase each others fears and wipe away the tears, virtually we’re together. But it cannot cease the longing to actually be with Maria. A warm body next to mine, a hand to hold. A moving, breathing face. I long to see her smile.
Maria and I have been together 3 months. I could careless what you adults think or say. These have been the happiest 3 months I’ve ever had. I hope to spend many, many more days just talking to Maria. I can’t wait to show her the things she has never seen. Snow, for one. Right now, I want, more than anything, to be with Maria. But the fates are cruel that way. I have to go to school and see ‘best friend’ everyday, but I get to come home to talk to my real best friend and my lover. Maria. Watashi wa anata o aishite, Maria. I’ll wait as long as it takes to be in your arms.
This is a sad story of heartache and revival, but it’s also a story that hasn’t ended yet.

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incredible love!!

Thought of writing whatever is in my memory until now from d very first day i.e., 20th Feb ‘09.
It was Friday that day. i remember i was checking my orkut account from my cell (which i rarely operate) n saw for the very first time a friend request from a guy of London (got excited ,a firangi has sent me request as i m always curious about foreign ,don’t know y)
anyways it was better to ask him some stuff rather than ignoring d request(which i always do with strangers).
D name of his account was ‘esoteric’ and d first thing i asked him was is he Indian as it sounded he was, from his profile n some of his pics.
after few hrs got a reply yes he was Indian:) don’t know y it was a very strange feeling with him always as if we r born to meet
got more excited after seeing his reply n added some more of my ever ending questions which he bravely faced.
all this conversation was going over phone nw. i asked my friend to operate my account from her computer as my gprs was slow(first crazy side of me for him)
HELLO it’s been just a day i know him n what i m doing !!! I begged many a time to my friend to help me in this.
Strange in his first conversation he gave me his no. but y???? i found it very strange n obviously doubted on his character as well 4 sometime.
D conversation ended as he told me that he is free in weekends so that we can chat more.
i dint had net at home n was not aware about mobile messenger that time so decided to go to my aunt’s place which was at walking distance from my home (next day was Saturday as well,HOLIDAY TIME)
got ready in afternoon n went to aunt’s house(one thing more that time i was a home sick person n rarely moved out alone but was going crazy to talk to him n went outsid!)
Anyways i got in d house. Had a little chat with aunt n other ppl n went directly to chat with him online ok! There is lot of stuff to ask a stranger (didn’t feel like stranger though). He was online n that day we chatted for almost 4-5 hours continuously both were sticked to d computers like glue
he told me his name is ‘ARNAV GUPTA’, software engineer.24 years old n work in London but was once from my city only.
Ok good enough!
He asked me to add him in his orkut account to which i showed some hesitance as had some of my pics in my account. I deleted them all just to add him. Now he is my friend as per my orkut list’. it was night now almost 10:30 n i was still chatting. my aunt’s family ws raising their eyebrow as i didn’t move an inch since 5 hrs. n was not moving even for dinner.
In end he said good bye (might b he got tired) n so i headed towards home.
Recalled everything b4 going to sleep n a sweet smile took me to sleep .
D next day too i went to aunt’s place n chatted for 4-5 hrs. things were going gr8.
I bombarded with every silly question of mine n he too in between was asking me like “do u know how to cook” ha ha ha i m not sitting here 4 a marriage proposal silly..
in d end of my conversation I told him that MY BOARD(12TH) EXAMS will b starting from 3rd march’11 n I won’t b online till d end of march
he showed intense grief to this n quoted “what will happen to me in this 1 month without u”
umm.. Hello its just 2 days we have known each other but somewhere i too was feeling same attachment .i said i will try to get online then
but i can’t go everyday like this to aunt’s place.. Need to think something girl!!!
Had computer at home which was more of a trash n hanged after every minute
but d excitement to know this guy was far more so i decided to gv it a try..
With all sort of ‘jugad’ i managed a net connection which too was slow like d computer i just need to b patient while working with this DIBBA. n so i did
we chatted for hrs for a week until i got complaints from him that i m too slow nt my fault dear this dibba is like this
again i used my unused brain n loaded a messenger in dad’s cell.
FINGERS CROSSED!!
Hope it works n yes it worked!! i was so happy as if i have got a noble prize indeed
i gave him surprise by getting online through messenger n he was happy as usual but he gave all d credit to himself that it was his idea (ha ha ha ).
We chatted like this daily even during my exams as well. But d time difference was a big problem for me.
he got free at d time when in India its 1:30 AM n we chat till 5-6 AM BAD!!! But i need to adjust n manage yaar..
so decided to study in daytime n midnight it was d lovely talking only next morning d first work which i need to do was to read all d last n8 conversation again n just imagine with a smile.
Hey while writing my exams i m thinking about him.y????? i have gone crazy man!!!
then one day in between my exams he told me that he has lost his job due to recession n is soon heading to India again
it was so disheartening to me as i myself has lost mine. i supported him emotionally in every possible manner.
Any how i finished my exams (slept just for 2-3 hrs b4 every exam) n came home on 23rd march’09.
in morning of d same day he proposed me indirectly to which i dint respond clearly (he played some sort of question ans just to know hw i feel about him)
i was happy that exams got over n now i can chat without any hindrance GUESS WHAT!!! We had a fight that day for d first time over some silly issue.
he need to leave from there on 28th march’09 n we cleared it all on 27th (we chatted that day till 7 AM n he was emotional this time it looked)
he asked me about d ans to his proposal to which i said NO n he was disheartened n called me heartless so i said i need some time to think upon.
After tht he mailed me that he has reached safely (thank god! he mailed i was dying each second to know about him) n first question he asked me was what’s my ans about his proposal.
i had no ans yet as how can i say yes to a stranger n most important how can i fall in a relationship with a internet guy
he asked like crazy every time i saw him online n i felt guilty every time of saying NO to him although i don’t want to say no we had all sorts of discussions, both good n bad! i told him about my reason to say NO but he was not ready to listen anything but a word i.e., YES!
i listened to my heart as always n said “YES i love u too” he was on top of d world now i was also happy. It was 4th April ‘09.
We decided that we will talk over phone 4 d first time on 15 apr’09 (my birthday day).
D day came n i was damn nervous. N then d night. He called me. OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD it’s his call.
First word he said ‘hello’ umm. D voice was not that impressive (may b i expected a lot) but i talked.
He continuously wanted to listen his name n those 3 magical words from me i said none!! ha ha ha.n again end up in fight he disconnected d phone in anger n i was DAMN hurt n cried even. But stopped myself from that n slept after missing mostly all wishing calls.
D whole day i felt low n again had some fight over some silly issue but still though i was falling in love deeply each day!
We decided to meet each other on 26th April ‘09. It was really a hard decision 4 me to take and a risk too..
i m actually taking a very BIG step to meet him without letting anybody know. By now my heart was pounding heavily n was counting seconds to meet my love of life!
we decided to meet at big bazar (safe place to meet)i saw him at last..Wait he is different from his pic. Not going to comment on appearance plz (doesn’t matter much) i was like dead yaar..Words nt falling from within. i was shy which i never was. N now i m sitting with him I CANT BELIEVE THIS!!!
We parted after 45 mints n i headed forward to my friends place which was nearby. Hey i had tears in my eyes!! i m missing him!!
after some time i went to home n slept. nice meeting u my love
n d days passed like this with love n fights
one day on 22 may he told me something he never lost his job, was there on assignment n is 26 yr old!!! OH MY GOD it was heart breaking!! Tears didn’t stop at all..
N whatever i thought was wrong that a relationship can work at once so smoothly but its nt.. He tried to convince me but now d image was different. It was hard for me to believe him now but once again i listened to my heart n continued!!!
It took me sometime to cm to d track again but i managed. i still loved him a lot!
Then one day he asked me about petition. What petition??
Well it was a marriage petition..

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!!! it’s just two months i m in contact of him n have met him once. How can i marry him man!!! its not that i m cheating him by denying 4 that.. nt at all!! We again had strong fight over this n we decided to meet on 27th June ‘09 at Taj Mahal n Agra fort.
Had bad fight there too n he said “it’s better to forget each other if u can’t sign petition or can’t talk in ur family”
heyyyyyyy! What is this now. r u crazy i m just 19, have just completed my 12th n is youngest in my family..It will b silly to talk about a guy whom i want to marry..Is it nt???i was sure enough it will nt take me to anywhere but on his assurance i went ahead n told my mom d very next day n got some resistance as expected
so decided to end it at once n nt to take it far it was a HARD decision for me seriously !! conveyed this to arnav too n he was too emotional with this idea. so i decided to hold it 4 some time as parting is nt possible now..
Time passed n i got to know when he want marriage n all. Was a bit uncomfortable with d idea although as he wanted to settle down asap bcoz of his age n parent’s low health.
In October we came on d verge of break up again just bcoz it was hard for me to go 4 petition but i love him to d end !!
NOW my strength was my weakness !! Not talking to him a day was like nt taking oxygen.
Awesome guy he was. A Lovely person n very lovable. Anybody can fall 4 such a guy..BELIEVE ME!! Had wonderful memories with him n the time spent with him was OUTSTANDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He was now more imp to me than anything else..
Come back, come back…
we were breaking up HW can this b possible man?????? It was diwali day i remember..n tears n pain was there in me..HARD TIME!!!
But he backed off from his decision after 2 days but on some condition of course..
i need to talk to my family members in nov’09. No option man so i need to agree..
from that day to November my every night passed in tears after saying him gud night as i was aware d time i will speaking this in my family wroblems will start for us. I even risked my career but no way i wanted to loose him plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!! i will prefer to die than to live without him..
After all d silent cries n tears November came. i spoke it in my family n got what was expected it was disheartened to listen all that from ppl u love n about someone whom u love too!!
Days passed in grief n tears i was getting every shit from everyone among family n relatives n was handling that all alone as d one 4 whom i was doing all this was too angry from me as according to him i was not giving 100% effort..
He believe i have never given any effort anytime.. it was more painful if ur strength is making u weak but believe me i did everything i cud have done decently n to b in limits!
i was not even able to concentrate on my exams n other things bcoz of d quarrels going every day..
What nt ppl put me through n there was no support from any where
i was broken completely n was dead from within. Thought of ending it several times too..
Days passed like this n then came my b.com exams.. Cried in examination hall too n ppl thought i got nervous bcoz of paper (ha ha ha funny).
Anyways i listened to everything bad he said from ‘fuck off’ to ‘bitch’ when he used to loose his temper
UNBEARABLE!!
The person whom u have given everything is abusing u like this!!!!!! Listened to that too with no complaints..
I was abused in every possible way by every1… life seemed like nothing..
M i living 4 this???????
I never gave weight age to money, status, looks, or anything else but just love n this i m getting..
WHY??????
But main thing is y i can’t say anything in return to him?? bcoz I love him (that means he don’t love me??) or i m too weak to say anything?????
I DONT KNOW n don’t want to know coz that will make me more crazy
then May came n he came home as what it was decided n in end it was agreed by both parties that i should b making my career first n then go for any relationship..Happily decided by both sides.. Thought it’s all sorted but d game is not yet over.. How can it b so easily..
He always thought my family is fooling him don’t know y..i think he knows my family better than me or may b i have myself created such image abt my family?????
Whatever but through all this period i have been going through HELL.. really he almost ignored me when i needed him d most, abused me like anything
n what i got in return just tears but i m cried more bcoz of d good times we shared n spent together
hw can some1 who love u can ignore u let it b any reason..(he believed making distance frm me wl make me strong for carrying on dis fight wid my family for him)
I know its difficult for him too but for me it’s too not easy but i make sure I act calmly especially with him..
I even left home at that time (though he convinced me to return back) when my dad can’t even got up from bed (met wid serious accident), without thinking about his condition, fought with ppl at that crucial time when he needed me d most but I still went with my love.
Didn’t care about anything n what I got????????
ABUSE , IGNORANCE AND ANGER!!
Its sad when u message yourself “i love u n there for u always” on ur no.with d name of the person u love just for the support.
i have no written records with me now but nobody can erase it from memory..
n i have truly loved him with no conditions still he doubt. Don’t knw y??????????
Where i m wrong that i m getting such reaction!!!
Y i m to b blamed for everything..
Well complaints will lead me nowhere as no one is listening either..
It feels good when u write as there is no one to listen to u not even d one whom u need d most!!!!!
One thing i always did n do is I wish him every 20th (d date we first met) but every time, i get negative response or sometimes, no response
i was broken within all these months till January n fought shamelessly with my family for him. Cried, shouted, went on hunger strike n what not but it seemed my family didn’t had heart.
after going through long trauma n fights for 5 months finally my family decided to call his family home in jan’11 to talk about us(a ray of hope finally ) I was not allowed there n d matter was handled by elder ppl of both families along with Arnav.
As usual my family gave another shock to them n me.. OUR HOROSCOPES DONT MATCH AS PER D ASTROLOGER. Though d score was 30/36 but it’s not about score only.My family told them that being both manglik i shud marry after turning 24 n that is a right age too to get settled. Listening to this arnav boiled with anger as he was expecting this kind of story only from them. His family was in no mood to wait for another 3 years as arnav himself was 28 by now. So they made excuse that they will decide n let my family know soon. Main reason for my family’s denial- my cousin is unmarried yet n it wud b difficult for her if i got married b4 her.(which arnav failed to understand).one thing more my family is a firm believer of all these horoscopes. It is almost impossible to make them agree on dis front.
When they all went home my family turned hostile to them bcoz of d heating conversations both parties had during the meeting. They were nt at all happy dont know y but i think my family is more allergic to ‘love marriages’ than anything else.
i didn’t had d courage to message arnav even as i was afraid of his reaction n feedback. Got a message after 4-5 hrs from him, complaining that y i didn’t message him for so long though he added that its better that we don’t communicate from now as dis relationship can’t go anywhere (i almost collapsed listening dis) he ended d call n dropped a msg saying FINAL GOODBYE i tried to hold him back all that week through talks but I guess he was tired n determined by now n his family too.
i felt soooooooo empty each day n helpless too. Life was dead n aimless.
Months passed by n i used to wish him every 20th through mails to which he never responded.
One morning of May i received a long n prolix mail by him when he was in USA (went for work)it was heart melting n touchy but was rude n full of anger too. He was complaining that i have made his life hell n made him suffer so much by not taking any action for this relationship. He said he still loves me n goes crazy without me. His life is full of misery n sorrows n ppl no longer can bear him bcoz of his frustration on them.
I felt so guilty after reading d mail n cried a lot(a usual habit now) i mailed him back comforting him a lot n told him about d same condition n life i m facing without him. But now his love changed more to anger n frustration. He was continuously nagging n complaining n blaming me for d worsening of d matter.
From May to October we exchanged rude n bitter words to each other hoping the other side will change things n we can b together once again but something was holding both of us to take extreme action.
i can’t talk in my family b4 my sis gets married n he can’t wait anymore as his family is pressurizing him to get settled asap.
HARD SITUATION FOR BOTH!
Then came my exam (October end) which was in Delhi n near to his native place (noida).so i planned to meet him. He refused at once first of all n abused me a lot but later came to meet me..Seeing him after1.5 years was a feeling which no one can explain. We roam in mall n sat at barista. After staring at each other he collapsed in tears..I tried to stop him but don’t know how as was stunned to see that gesture. People around us were gazing at us as they found a new story to talk about..
‘Dude !! Handle ur life don’t buzz in our matter’ i was thinking.
we got up after sometime n spent 2 hrs together complaining n expecting from each other to turn things good as expected no one understood d other side problem. He dropped me at a place where my friend was waiting for me. I remember he addressed me ‘bhojh (burden) to which i almost cried as it hurted me so much. How can he say such a word to a person he love just bcoz he dropped me d other side of d road by bike when usually ppl cross it (whats a big deal?? i was new to d city anyways, u have to take care of me no matter what)
After he left I messaged him ‘love u, thanks for coming’ to which he replied ‘hmm’. (at least he replied this time ) for my 5 day stay in Delhi he fought a lot through messages day n night n i tried to calm him down but only my talks with my family can please him now I know this thing for sure..He asked me to take back all d gifts i gave him as they haunt him n make him sad n nostalgic(he cant throw them either bcoz of feelings attached with it).
He wants to start a new life n can’t stay in a limbo state anymore. i thought he will b strong after meeting me but he got more weak indeed.i returned back home n all this time in d journey he showed concern about my well being by asking me my whereabouts through messages. that was good n comforting as soon as i reached home he said ‘goodbye’ as he only was communicating with me all through d journey out of concern for me n need to stop all this now. he said he will not communicate with me n soon gave me ultimatum to talk in my family about him n if I won’t do now he will change everything even his no. n will leave no mode by which i can contact him. d whole week went like hell for me n I was helpless too as talking to 22 members of d family b4 cousin’s marriage was like banging head against wall in which i will b suffering ultimately like before.
Since that time I m not in touch with him..Everyday i wake up with his thought n sleep taking him in memory. Hoping things will turn good n he won’t get fixed with some1 else.
Expecting each message in my cell to b his but till now no news I have about him. don’t know y we r so attached to each other when we started facing all these problems right after 7 months of our relationship.ppl usually don’t like to hold such a short period journey with such heavy n big problems but i m sure something is there which is holding us together against the odds n that supreme power is LOVE!!!

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